Where the Heck is “Kitten Lopez?”

Kitten Lopez is of course not her real name.

By Wolf Richter for WOLF STREET.

She has been posting comments on WOLF STREET for years. Many of them were powerful, visceral, iconic laments, but also expressions of exuberance, sometimes switching back and forth in the same paragraph, and dripping with humor.

Kitten Lopez designed the “Nothing Goes to Heck in a Straight Line”  WOLF STREET beer mug. People who came to the WOLF STREET meetup in San Francisco last April have met her. And I posted some of her illustrations in the comments, including this:

So who is Kitten Lopez and what happened to her?

She came out in real name, as the explosive writer and artist she is: Erika Lopez. She is the author of six books, including, “FLAMING IGUANAS: An Illustrated All-Girl Road Novel Thing,” published in 1997 by Simon & Schuster. The illustrations in the book are her own. Here is her author page on Amazon and her story as per Wikipedia (thank God I’m not on Wikipedia!).

And now she has posted an essay on her site, ErikaLopez.com. It’s a hilarious, acidic dive into Hollywood and human nature far beyond Hollywood. It’s full of surprising politically-incorrect-in-every-direction twists and turns.

In person, she comes across as the sweetest creature out there. Put a keyboard in front of her, and she explodes. This is the intro to her essay:

(In the late 1990s I was summoned to the Miramax offices in Manhattan regarding film rights for my novel, “Flaming Iguanas,” and was later in talks about an unpublished book project with the Weinstein Book Publishing Company, but I’ve never done business with the Weinsteins nor have I met either Weinstein. / I’m writing this simply because someone should.)

And what comes next in her essay, titled in the politically-most-incorrect-manner possible, In Defense of Harvey Weinstein, isn’t really about Weinstein. Instead, it’s one wild ride through human nature, the power of money, corporate power, aging, “Hollywood Princess Feminists,” women and men, famous people in and not in Hollywood, about “we regular schmucks,” and it’s deeply personal in her mix of anguish, exuberance, and humor. Are you ready — and sufficiently fortified — for that wild ride through human nature?

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  97 comments for “Where the Heck is “Kitten Lopez?”

  1. Gershom says:

    It’s nice to know that in these times of political correctness run amok, free thinkers unafraid to speak their minds or tell it like it is still walk among us. Your endorsement of her work carries weight, Wolf. I’ll have to check out her books.

  2. Michael Engel says:

    Her comments were too long, too narrow, and u gave her…

    • kitten lopez says:

      aaargh! you got here first! pinwheel of death jacked me up quite awhile./ but yes… at home i say Wolf is like Norman Lear making Mary Tyler Moore and i’m not the Rhoda spinoff, i’m the CARLTON THE DOORMAN spin off.

      coooool…. i just TOTALLY aged myself. i like getting older. but yeah. Wolf hypnotized me to start my own thing. NOW i get the long column because i had to find something to make it just ONE. (and that was after 2 weeks of LIVE editing down, online)

      • 728huey says:

        Actually, it was Grant Tinker who was the producer of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and her husband at that time. Norman Lear produced All In The Family, The Jeffersons, Maude, and Good Times, which have had a revival thanks to ABC’S “Live In Front of a Studio Audience” remakes.

      • NBay says:

        I saw the title and was afraid Wolf really didn’t know where you were, like Alex in San Jose. Then I see you are not only unvanished but in Wikipedia!!!!!
        Anyway, welcome back…….your famousness?….or something…
        But I still remember the beer mug article, most fun I ever had here, and wild postings.

        • GirlInOC says:

          Wait, did Alex from SJ disappear? I lurk pretty regularly and noticed he tends to go on a comment spree on older threads. But I haven’t been going back to old threads to read newer comments (still would love *new* comments notifications lol) and so I also haven’t seen him in awhile.

        • NBay says:

          OC Girl- I tend to lag a couple days or so, and let the whole thing “season”. I think it makes for a better read. Besides if you are at the front you might post something and then find someone already posted similar. It’s sort of a madhouse, up there, really, especially if one can’t type at all.
          Anyway, I haven’t seen Alex posts for a long time and hope he is ok. It’s a much needed point of view, not everyone is a financial “success” and getting richer.
          And we all must play in this same financialized world. (although I was close to independent when off grid). I’m just here to learn what I can, part of my lifelong “situational awareness” goal.

        • NBay says:

          Oh yeah, I’d love “new comments notifications” too. Don’t know how it works out in algo, advertising, or convenience for WR, but if it’s a wash he might have less pressure to publish, unless that’s his favorite part of the whole effort, I know moderation isn’t.

        • GirlInOC says:

          lol’ing @ letting the comments section marinate. I dig that approach…if I wasn’t so darn Millenially and didn’t value instant-gratification (and of course Starbucks), I ‘d do that too. But alas, I find myself obsessively refreshing my browser for new comments from my fav posters or to see who is gonna reply to *that* person’s lame observations (totally kidding- “that person” doesn’t exist here. or am i? ;-) But if Wolf ever wanted help moderating, I have some experience and can spot a PA from a mile away.

          But I definitely noticed Alex’s contributions and hope he’s alright. Voices that don’t tout money=sucess/happiness are appreciated.

  3. kitten lopez says:

    Before i read the story above i wanna try and post FIRST for the first time EVER and say:


    i’m proud/ they’re gorgeous and during dinner, James and i drink our evening beer out of them fresh out the freezer because the base is HEAVY and holds a CHILL. and your hot and sweaty hands don’t melt it down.

    they’re gorgeous but also are good juju and the money Wolf paid me started me off with our clothing business on a crazy purchase of my rare Taiwan high quality fabric as a shop was going out of business.. and since then things have been FLYING.

    so you’re investing in a good guy and are supporting are cooler bigger “fxck google” idea as we all try to help each other – like how Aaron came in, got involved and KILLED IT.

    really… send ’em as gifts because the shipping stuff was so nice i saved it for later.

    okay, now to read the article before the pinwheel of death comes back and jacks up this posting. … i’m trying to make it FIRST!

    thanks and more adventures to come. by the way/ whoever said Wolf should do a children’s book (for us confused adults), i’m on it, too. BRILLIANT idea. i was trying to get Wolf connected with an agent before but THIS is an idea that will live regardless of whether we wanted it to or not….

    if i were you, get the mug. it was designed for YOU ALL in mind. at $25 it’s no big money-maker… when you get it you will see for yourself. it’s an experience from the moment you get it to your door. no lie.

    I know Aaron is amazing to date by that amount of attention to DETAIL.

    Right, Aaron? thanks…

    continuing adventures…


    (p.s. i wanna see more from Unamused and my dear Queen Petunia. NONE of us are done with Petunia.)

    • Petunia says:

      You needed a bigger space to fill with all your passions, no tiny home for you, glad to see you back.

      • kitten lopez says:

        i’ve come back to get you, Miss Petunia; we’re playing Twilight Zone’s “Kick the Can” episode, Petunia. / go re-watch that….


    • Ripp (Aaron) says:

      I don’t think I would have got involved if you hadn’t publicly shamed me to put up or shut up!

      Little did I know that I would be doing more than just providing a little inside information. You and Wolf decided to go all in and put the logistics in my hands. We had a few bumps along the way, but in the end it turned out better than I could have imagined.

      Glad to see you back in action!

      (p.s. – you totally blew my cover!)

      • kitten lopez says:

        yeah, i kinda did it on purpose because now it’s time for the RIGHT PEOPLE TO SHINE for a change. / you killed it, “Ripp.” no need to even remember any problems. they’re ubiquitous in anything and you rendered them forgetttable like childhood spankings.

        and Wolf wanted to be sure you came out okay and i got to see how Wolf is in real life– he’s the kind of businessman who insists that others are taken care of. i dug that.

      • kitten lopez says:

        oh yeah, thanks for taking care of EVERYTHING, Mr. Aaron Ripplinger at: DESIGNaSHIRT.com!


  4. 2banana says:

    Superb writing in the article “In Defense of Harvey Weinstein”

    Almost as good as:

    “Many of these startups are founded or funded by people with an internet or technology background whore”

    I can see why you find it so awesome.


  5. kk says:

    I couldn’t follow this at all.

  6. Paulo says:

    I appreciate Wolf supporting a WS commentator. Your certainly do not see this on other sites. For me, this illustrates WS as a bit of a family, and like many families it is sometimes dysfunctional, sometimes a little wrong, but usually cohesive and well mannered. :-)

    I wager a guess, based on the quality of what I have read here over the years, that I would be absolutely amazed at some of you Streeters out there in reader land. Compare this to Zerohedge where a quick read is akin to watching a Jerry Springer show with your cousin, that you sleep with, when your________ isn’t available. (Fill in the blank for 10 pts)

    Class act.

    • kitten lopez says:

      I’m glad you also see what Wolf’s done here. i tell him this all the time and he thinks i’m buttering biscuits when i’m NOT. / that’s why i’ve gotta help pass this on.

      … how it works and all. you know this well, Mr Paulo.


    • GirlInOC says:

      Oh be careful, you’re one step away from admitting a vehicle of dreaded modern technology actually BENEFITS society via increased relationships and connections. Seems a common lament here how unattached and disconnected young people are, overly attached to their screens & gadgets. Personally, I’m able to chat online with people across the world AND have deep interpersonal relationships IRL.

  7. Unamused says:

    Kitten Lopez is of course not her real name.

    Yeah, well, my real name isn’t Unamused. At my age it’s just easier to remember.

    Are you ready — and sufficiently fortified — for that wild ride through human nature?

    I’m going to need some time to prepare. Please stand by.

  8. Stan says:

    The frank truth is liberating.

    The phrase about showing up in yoga pants and being indignant about men reacting.

    This idea paired with the BS sanctimony of those who’d feign they’d never trade a transient part of themselves for “a leg up” or shot at the big prize is the unvarnished.

    Thx mrs. Lopez & Wolf; I May well be in the market for a mug

    • dos tacos mas says:

      “The phrase about showing up in yoga pants and being indignant about men reacting.”

      Went to the Rose Parade in Pasadena this year. Hundreds, if not thousands, of non-male participants, dressed in minimalist attire, leading each and every marching band, riding on horses and on the floats. Of course, I was looking the other way the whole time and just listening to the music and thinking about my financial situation…

  9. RD Blakeslee says:

    Thank you Wolf!

    Kitten is a wonder. Pure writing talent, uninhibited – rare.

    And honest emotions, unhidden.

  10. Willy Winky says:

    The Weinstein essay is superb.

    Here’s a plug for another writer, Scott Galloway. His WeWTF article went viral and was the beginning of the end of Wework’s IPO.


    Plenty of more where that came from on his site.

    • kitten lopez says:

      “His WeWTF article went viral and was the beginning of the end of Wework’s IPO.”

      i’m going to respond to you below since this is a one-time thing, waaaaay after hours but i’ve already told more than i intended to but i keep on being MET, so i must step up, as per my own rules… so see below…

  11. Raymond Rogers says:


  12. sunny129 says:

    No other worth while topic besides ‘Kitten Lopez’, today?

    • Raymond Rogers says:

      Suppose the Wolfmeister is being charming, aiming to get a date from her? Seems to be pushing her quite a bit on here.

      Spill the beans wolf, what’s going on here you old dog? Haha.

      • kitten lopez says:

        (if you’d ever SEEN Wolf’s wife, you’d realize how 4th grade you sound here.)

        • Raymond Rogers says:

          Easy tiger, it was a joke. A sense of humor is hard to come by here.

      • Wolf Richter says:

        Raymond Rogers,

        I understand you’re trying to be funny, and I shouldn’t even respond to this nonsense. But I will anyway — so that you know. I’m super-happily married to a beautiful woman who is much younger than I am and a whole lot smarter, and I love and treasure her immensely. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m nuts about her, that I’ve lost my mind over her, still after 20 years of marriage. As long as she puts up with me, I’m all hers.

        • Raymond Rogers says:

          It was just a joke. I dont keep track of people’s marital status. Im not in any way making any judgement of your character.

        • RD Blakeslee says:

          Same here, but 2nd marriage (1st wife died in the 53rd year of marriage) – only 11 years, so far.

          Trundled all over the East coast to find her, following leads on “Match” and “EHarmony”. Nor many of us in WV were on the internet, back then, so local gems remained hidden.

        • Kasadour says:

          I see your beautiful, young wife and I raise you an I married the same man three times.

    • kitten lopez says:

      you are being small sighted. it is sunday, first of all, give the guy a break. BUT this is precisely why i said “to heck with fans”– everyone gives the guy hell for not being chipper enough and being so DOWN or Negative… then here he’s got some local dame who was half dead and through just COMMUNITY and not just focusing on investing in crap, he invests in others locally in PEOPLE and look what happens…. we can come BACK.

      i was saying “screw people. they’re so uninteresting.” and he’s writing tutorials on using word press and how easy this or that is and it was like acid and got through eventually.

      man…what more do you want???

      blood? BE the “sunny129” you say you are.

      and no kiss for you til you stop being smarmy. this is what happens when you give stuff for FREE, y’all.

    • Wolf Richter says:


      Here you go:

      But I missed the cutoff to get it done before 9 PM Pacific Time. Server runs on Eastern Time, and so the time stamp is the 20th, but here it’s still the 19th.

  13. Cobalt Programmer says:

    Obviously, Cobalt Programmer is also not a real name nor a profession. Sometimes I think about the usernames, like van down by the river, lisa hooker, Alex from digital detroit, and so on. They cant be true either. May be every one, Please post the reason for your username.

    Someone in the comments sections posted about “cobalt programmers”. I know they wanted to say about COBOL, a old computer programming language. I thought its funny and used it.

    • Weary Patience says:

      Mine came from the fact that nothing goes to heck in a straight line and since I’ve been saving towards a house all the while seeing prices surging while wages aren’t… it’s tiresome :-)

    • Saltcreep says:

      From the aquarium hobby, in my case, where you suddenly find the corrosive substance has advanced unnoticed along some mostly unseen surface behind the sump of your reef tank to frazzle some piece of expensive equipment.

      Which is sort of applicable to how the unwanted consequences of policies put in place by our fiscal and monetary authorities creep up on us unnoticed until something goes wrong. Unless we let ourselves become better informed through following such enlightening sources as this one, of course!

    • former says:

      >> Obviously, Cobalt Programmer is also not a real name nor a profession.<<

      I guess, (as usually), I'm the only one here doing something wrong & using real name?!?

    • IdahoPotato says:

      I live in Idaho and I love potatoes.

    • California Bob says:

      It IS funny. I was one of the commenters to point out the OP was likely referring to COBOL; wish I’d thought of grabbing the handle. Well done, sir.

    • Wisdom Seeker says:

      I started out about 14 years ago on some other sites as “Wisdom Speaker” – hoping to educate others about the problems I was seeing. I was buying/selling a house in California in late 2005 when the housing market turned, did some diligence and realized the national housing bust was going to be on part with the Great Depression. It was blindingly obvious from where I sat, except I couldn’t believe it would take 2 years for the stock market to roll over, and another year after that to actually crash.

      I switched to “Wisdom Seeker” when I realized how much more I wanted to learn myself. (Facts, you can get in school. Fake facts, you can get online. Wisdom … that you have to learn through experience, or from people with deep experience, people like Wolf, Kitten Lopez etc.)

  14. Tripping says:

    I think the skies just opened up and Pink rained down in all its glory! Kitten’s essay on Weinstein just gave voice to some f@cked-up-ness I’ve been bashing my body and mind against for years now. But bashing oh so quietly because I don’t understand what the f@ck is going on I’m 55 yrs old and read Wolf Street to keep me smart… but I’ll read Show A Little Pink to keep me sane and juicy. Thanks, Wolf!

  15. Mean Chicken says:

    I’m actually a Mean Chicken.

  16. Kasadour says:

    Kitten Lopez:

    What are you thoughts on the FED providing liquidity to stabilize repurchase agreement interest rate that went up into double digits last Sept? What about the FED balance sheet? Do you think Tesla stock is overpriced? Is Boeing kaput?

    See? All super ^^^^ boring stuff. No wonder she avoids this site like the plague. :-ppppp

    Wolf needs to open a sub forum where we can talk about gorgeous beer mugs and other fine wares. I’d be all in like Jeopardy James.

    Lastly, I need to and so I will check out that Weinstein essay cause lately I’ve been feeling sorry for him hobbling along in that walker like an 90 year old man. I really liked the English Patient. *shrugg*

    • kitten lopez says:

      but i don’t “avoid” this site, Kasadour; this is where i got my detailed education in Reality. / i lurk now because i’ll lose HOURS on this site and i’m learning tailoring and the art of fine sewing now.

      • Kasadour says:

        I hear ya about getting educated. Most of my knowledge about things financial started with this site; it took me about a year to get up the nerve to comment. I’ve been posting here at Wolf’s well over 7 years, two or three during its former iteration, TP.

  17. GotCollateral says:

    Anyone ordered the mugs intl and they arrived in one piece? What destinations?

    At least some of us dont mind talk of collateral swaps and spreads in the mist of beer mug or two, ot dozen :P

    • Ripp says:

      We’ve shipped mugs to Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Spain, Finland, England, Italy, Germany, & Switzerland. I haven’t heard of any mugs breaking in transit domestic or foreign so far.

  18. Unamused says:

    Okay, here goes.

    Where the Heck is “Kitten Lopez?”

    In the hearts and souls of people of good will. Let’s just hope she stays there.

    kitten lopez


    Two mugs. One for each hand. A balanced diet is important.


    I couldn’t follow this at all.

    It has an abstract expressionistic quality to it. It’s supposed to be evocative and frank to draw you out and draw you in, to elicit a collage of thoughts and feelings in the observer, not to be concise or coherent or taken too literally, except sometimes. Good art. Just buy into it and you can join the party too. Go read some Ferlinghetti and Ginsberg while listening to Close to the Edge and try it again. Unless you’re WR you’re only going to get so many opportunities to have some joy in your life, so don’t waste them.


    No other worth while topic besides ‘Kitten Lopez’, today?

    Take it as a respite from the otherwise studied, analytical, dour mood here, as you would the comic relief in an Elizabethan tragedy.

    Cobalt Programmer

    Please post the reason for your username.

    Horace Walpole once opined that life is a Life is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel, and I’m conflicted because I read the news.

    Mean Chicken

    I’m actually a Mean Chicken.

    Good. That should make the foxes think twice.

    kitten lopez

    i wanna see more from Unamused

    Thank you. I promise to honor the spirit of the posting guidelines. In the meantime I’m committed to obligations on the south side of the sky that will take time to tend, so don’t wait up for me.

    I make an excellent perch risotto, by the way. You’d like it.

  19. Trucker says:

    Her writing reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson and her artwork of Ralph Steadman. Both good company.

    • kitten lopez says:

      YES! i was suckled on them as well as the beautifully complex ,sweet and dirty, Shel Silverstein.

  20. Whatsthepoint says:

    My handle just says it all….

  21. Whatsthepoint says:

    BTW Great piece, Kitten! I agree totally. They all deserve each other!

  22. RD Blakeslee says:

    Nice thread. Humane qualities on display as counterpoint to dry intellect.

  23. gorbachev says:

    Kitten Lopez is fresh.She is in reality a throw back to those

    difficult -fun days in the 60’s and 70’s.No free rides all

    challenged.Courage Kitten.

  24. kitten lopez says:


    “It has an abstract expressionistic quality to it. It’s supposed to be evocative and frank to draw you out and draw you in, to elicit a collage of thoughts and feelings in the observer, not to be concise or coherent or taken too literally, except sometimes.”

    Wow, Unamused… you just stripped my entire “game” to the very bone. i dig that. huuuuuge smile to you. i actually was just explaining all this to Wolf off-side.

    if i keep people off-balance just by being myself, i watch THEM and how they react. i was explaining to Wolf that players, hustlers, and entrepreneurs (same adventurous energy) dig the THRILLs and challenges and they test people out themselves. and i throw off their game and if they LIKE it, i know i’ve got an interesting one.

    that they see me as human and enjoy the new level of reality under the B.S.

    some of these people “play” people and then play themselves because they hustle people and ruin their own sense of romance. that’s where we’re at now. but there are some people who know how to be alpha and bring out the BEST in others. that’s player lover energy just turned to a different outcome.

    as an ARTIST who must also be in business but in MY way, i am trying to artistically court and nurture and bring into being these OTHER ways of doing business being vulnerable open and caring.

    it’s HERE. all over this site and why i crawled all over it like a spider bot for information on how it all went …so wrong…

    people are miraculous, you know?

    breakfast ready.

    you come here/tell us… many long long converations to be had.


    • walter map says:

      I’m an art critic. Take it as a particularly favorable review.

      As an art critic, on this web site I critique the state of operations in local, national, and international economies. Those reviews are far from favorable. I also get in political and sociological critiques, although I’m not supposed to, and those are even worse.

  25. Lisa_Hooker says:

    Thank you Wolf, and thanks to all the commenters. A very welcome respite from our usual “the sky is falling.” A wonderful read on a Monday morning. Thanks again all.

    • kitten lopez says:

      Lisa HOOKER! –yeah! YOU’RE THE ONE who made the children’s book idea real with your line about “–wait, is that a spider behind you? oh, he’s gone. what were you asking?” that was HILARIOUS as HELL.

      you are a Happy Hooker indeed. but that’s your REAL name, yeah? Cobalt Programmer can’t be right about it being a fake name, can he???


  26. DR DOOM says:

    I wish her the best. I like nasty behind the pen but civil in person .

  27. Auld Kodjer says:

    Nice work Richter-Lopez. Blue Monday is not so blue

  28. HarrisonBergeron says:

    Wow, that essay is solid. It pinpoints why I LA has always made me uncomfortable. I guess I’m now in the market for a mug.

    • THE Harrison Bergeron!? A teacher introduced me to your story in Jr High. The older I get and the longer I live in Portland, the more I think about it. Same teacher gave me The Marching Morons (?) Long before it was plagiarized into Idiocracy without a hint of attribution. Anyway, good handle.

  29. RvC* says:

    That was nice for a change, thank you!

    *abbreviation real name

  30. Kasadour says:

    the rest of us in America are now unprepared aging silent film stars during the advent of sound.

    Hello from Hollywood! Sunset Boulevard is quiet tonight. Can someone please light my cigarette? Mind my golden cig holder ring. :-ppp

    Great article.

  31. c1ue says:

    Ms. Lopez,
    Please enable comments on your web site.
    I know there are so many people who share your pain and want to talk about it.
    Yes, there will be spam and trolls. Power through it (and Wolf can likely help).

    • kitten lopez says:

      c1ue … i’m going to answer you below in a new thread, citing: KITTEN AFTER HOURS time…

  32. kitten lopez says:


    no, i decided it’s best to be as scarce as i can be online because as OC GIRL admitted, being online hijacks your sense of time and i think it is a big reason for the Black Hole in Creativity or New Ideas or Thought.

    Wolf was surprised that women agreed with me and he’d felt guilty and i lost a couple of friends over this piece. but…(shrug) … if you’re gonna do this art and writing thing FOR REAL, you’ve gotta live like you have no parents. you’ve gotta figure out how to bite hands that feed you to keep yourself pure.

    the internet can give you a false sense that you are accomplishing something instead of INSPIRING you. i have to agonize, get fat, cry, rage, lose sleep to write ANYTHING anymore. it is how i get to where i need to go, to the other side of this.

    i cannot take you or anyone there or do it for you.

    we each have to go through the blues despair and loneliness and the internet can distract you from your task.

    i did and am doing my task… i have taken this information to deal with the sickening stench of Reality undoing ALL that i thought was true, even the Truths under The Illusions have a clever way of quickly flipping into New Illusions and it takes constant vigilance.

    so the best thing i can do is to draw you IN without DISTRACTION–no hyperlinks no footnotes –and bludgeon you over the head with myself in MY world.

    this to me is a more Feminine Way of Trying to Do Business or Anything in The World. i am 52 now and finally appreciate my menstruation cycle and am sorry for how dismissive i was of BEING A WOMAN. a human. i am angry that i ignored that for The Stuff.

    so i am trying to go against all that the internet ..courts? inspires? i can’t think of the word… but it tweaks our ego and until OC Girl can stop hitting refresh and come back for the SEASONED conversation that NBay waits for (yeah, i guess that’s what i do– it’s not lurking to come in late so i won’t comment).

    you cannot do ANYTHING worth your time if you’re hitting refresh over and over.

    so i have to fight that in ME.

    the internet makes you COUNT everything.

    but i had to discover the secret world UNDER the surveillance, under the data… THAT is what i know as a WOMAN. and in reclaiming loving being female and i don’t care what is cultural animal or messed up, i love aggressive men who make the first moves and is willing to be a total ass in the real world and try something embarrassing or kiss me madly in public.


    Wolf wants me to look myself up on google and i can’t anymore because all this mirrors begetting mirrors is making me insane again and i must return to living like NO ONE IS WATCHING. forget “dancing and singing like no one’s watching.” THAT’s now easy.. .it’s LIVING with a sense of privacy that i am trying to do in a world of everyone with PHONES.

    i have to go OPPOSITE.

    if we have no jobs i must try and create a new underground. a new way of us controlling not only the means of production, but also our own story, promotion, economy…

    so i will interact here.

    but otherwise it is a waste of all our time.

    as you see with some of the folks who came here and commented without seeing the GOD behind all this, the baby new foundling energy here… they will crush it.

    and thus i will no longer fling the best of myself and others on this medium and waste the BEST of our efforts. nah. no more.

    i did this micro-fame thing. you all can HAVE it. it’s more than a full time job, it’s thankless, and you’re like OC Girl refreshing your own personal stats and 5-star ratings and it’s a RACKET.

    i am going to use my own Alpha Female ways to go back to NOT boasting yelling and just doing the best being the best at whatever we start for i’m NOT alone, and i am putting love into who’s HERE WITH ME. community for real. some online. but i will test them hard this time and be myself times ten like i am in person.

    so no… i have been inspired by writings and energy and love and this is me giving back, showing HOW i’m trying to WRITE MY OWN NEW STORY. but no comments. this is ALONE TIME where you’re in the fetal position screaming about the beautiful perfect meaninglessness of it all…

    i am trying to act in concert with all the others who’re trying to bring forth life or also simultaneously FAN THE FLAMES OF DESTRUCTION—for they are BOTH necessary to usher in what is Next.

    i can FEEL it.

    so no, i cannot be online any more than i’ve conceded i already MUST be to be even mildly relevant. but i am building my new world slowly like the architect who doesn’t put the sidewalks in til he or she sees where people naturally WALK.

    i want to be more NATURAL and fight back to get what they took from me.

    so no comments.

    it’s time for LESS comments more doing awkward embarrassing risky things. we’re gonnna die anyway…

    have FUN or fight BACK against the dying of all our lights.

    and i’d totally forgotten what poetry was for…THIS.

    less comments / more poetry.



    • c1ue says:

      Ms. Lopez,
      Fair enough. I still think there is value – not monetary but emotional – with allowing your audience to feed back and/ or to express their views, or even just ask questions, but I respect your decision,

  33. Victoria says:

    Flaming Iguanas and They Call Me Mad Dog were pivotal books for me when I was a late teen, so much in fact I got the above “After” Tomato on the motorcycle tattooed on my arm for my 21st birthday to remind me to stay fucking cool.

    So, Kitten, hi and THANK YOU. You are one of a kind.

    • kitten lopez says:

      wow… Wolf told me you’d written and i’ve been speechless and weeping since i read what you wrote last night.

      i feel a lot of shame for how mean or cavalier i’ve been in my humor for the joke or story in the past, and that you chose to put a tattoo of a drawing i did to remind you to stay fucking cool, is me getting to be maternal or like the crazy tia i always wanted to be by protecting you, my baby sister, helping you with the incantation of a drawing or a vision…

      but most of all i’m mad PROUD that you’d equate “cool” not with death and boring ironic detachment, but FOR YOU, COOL IS BEING UPSIDE DOWN, DOING A HAND STAND NAKED IN HIGH HEEL BOOTS ON A MOVING MOTORCYCLE AND TRYING TO KEEP YOUR BALANCE.

      and i’m weeping because i don’t know nada.

      i love being surprised by the sweet and constant miracles here. when i said that google analytics can’t capture THESE data points of someone like Aaron Ripplinger at DESIGNaSHIRT.com showing up or my James from a fan letter in 1998…

      but you come in Victoria and BAM! i feel beautifully slammed by a 2×4 with LOVE.

      So, Miss Victoria, hi and THANK YOU for daring to BE one of a kind.


      p.s. since we’re waaaaay in After Hours Territory, i’ll tell you and other secret superfreaks still loitering here this: one of my own secret goddesses is LALITA at FRAGRANCE SHOP NEW YORK. when i was dying as i was i stumbled into her shop after years of waiting. make an appt with her, go there with your phone OFF and open TIME to just BE. and surrender to her skills her calming accepting energy. whatever she does she brings out… YOU. in a scent. / then you can re-order because she keeps detailed notes.

      i never leave the house, even off to the gym, without my own protective personal “kitten lopez” oil behind each ear on on my wrists.

      she’s the one who gave me the vision of what it is like to have what seems to be a “shop” to most, but is actually a tiny little sacred temple to others of us (read her yelp reviews… others get it, too).

      and even if it’s all “just” a placebo effect, placebo IS ALL MAGIC to me.

  34. kitten lopez says:


    i’m taking a sewing break by dancing to Prince in the kitchen nude and thus i MUST come totally clean because something told me to and when i’m dancing i must obey the realizations…


    on my former blog and later when i’d write things in favor of a few famous people who were being hunted down, a few times i was bothered enough to rant something on the low. it’d get out, passed around, and within a week or two i’d finally hear rumblings in defense of the perp. i tried it a few times and the last cat who got off, was the third.

    i don’t care or know if it’s related. again with the placebo effect, and my leo megalomania has me proclaiming myself king on top of a milk crate. point is, i realized that i take in art, i take in others’ hard work (like Wolf even, for example), and yet i don’t go on the line and say MY piece anymore. i was criticizing and raging from the sidelines or feeling depressed.

    and i heard some guy say Harry Belafonte yelled at him in that whisper across a crowded restaurant table when he’d said he didn’t want to write a song about a “flag.” it wasn’t cool enough for him and Belafonte said you can’t pick what you write about. if it picks YOU, honor it.

    and i wanted to write a defense of Weinstein back at the beginning but a rich producer don’t need MY help when we’re already struggling to stay here in SF at the pleasure of rent control. and i didn’t really CARE.

    and i didn’t want to alienate yet even MORE people again. but when i saw him i was electrified with rage—even if he’s PLAYING at the walker thing, so what. that he’s even brought to this that we ALL are is absurd.

    and this is related to censorship, when everyone’s terrified of dissenting and being cast out. it is a very real and true fear because standing out, especially NOW, can ruin your life.

    so, since i have no one left in my life talking to me and i have no job for anyone to take away…

    anyhow, yeah. i didn’t know about that WeWork story but that made me smile big when you mentioned he helped undo the pyramid scheme.

    i figured if i was gonna write about it, it was now or never. i think these are dangerous precedents and directions.

    comedy’s supposed to slither and writhe and infect and challenge.

    RIP Lenny Bruce.


    • I’m reminded of Hannah Arendt being vilified for calling the “great Nazi war criminal” executed by Israel a mere clerk, the man society demanded him to be long before Hitler arrived.

      Regarding losing friends (commented elsewhere): Better to speak your truth and lose friends than to hide it and lose yourself. Painful, but just ask yourself “What would that Magic Art of Tidying Up chick do?”

      Great read, BTW. Thanks for speaking up. It’s social suicide these days. I also think your point about the role of the internet in W’s demise is incredible insightful. His accusers are a mix of rightful victims, knowing lottery players, and hungry jackals who smell weakness in the former Alpha jackal. The internet pulled his teeth, they pounced.

      • kitten lopez says:

        Change Machine, in truth to me this Weinstein thing has REEKED and DRIPPED of anti-semitism from jump. like the old saw, i figured SOMEONE ELSE WOULD CALL IT OUT. / but no one ever did or IS.

        as a colored girl all this instantly reminded me of “Birth of a Nation” but yet another Hollywood remake this time with a Jew fouling pristine WASP women.

        and like Jack Johnson, the boxer who loved white women too, he must pay. this all just feels like a good old fashioned lynching.

        and when you make “stand your ground” laws legal based on FEAR, this is the SAME THING as shooting black boys in the street because you were simply nervous.

        yeah… and when they came for me, no one was left to stand up for ME….


        • I hate to disappoint you, but he had too much power for too long, screwing too many people. Someone MUST have noticed he was Jewey before now! ;)

          Honestly, though, it never crossed my mind. All I see is the physical manifestation of Hollywood’s id. It don’t make it right, but everyone knows it’s that way. Even I would have been nervous walking into his office. Hell, I’d be nervous being locked in a room with the people I KNOW in the bizness! Haha! Kinda :(

        • kitten lopez says:

          CM, responding below…

        • kitten lopez says:

          [CM, my long response to you didn’t fit the guidelines here and i was gonna let it all die because I’ve got my own problems without trying to incite a Men’s Movement that cannot happen because you guys aren’t made that way / but i woke up realizing that as the daughter of Rafael Lopez-Sanchez, i VERY MUCH DO have to respond to you, so i will respond to “you” on my own website in the weeks to come in case you are interested. i am literally going to respond to YOU, “CM.” this is stuff James, Corky, and Basul and I talk about all the time}

    • NBay says:

      Ever see “Thank You Masked Man” ?

  35. kitten lopez says:

    okay, CM. i’ve got the working title down in the draft, which means it’s a done deal. like how i used to tack up a mock book cover to keep me going.

    and i apparently plan on alienating absolutely EVERYONE for the rest of my life now. i didn’t wanna do this which means i MUST put my entire arm into the garbage disposal up to the pit and say que sera sera.

    the working title inspired by you, CM, is my final 9th-Life demise:

    “Feminism is a Cookbook on Eating Mankind / or Why You Should Care About the Defense of Harvey Weinstein”

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